it’s weird.
He’s leaving in a few days to go off island forever. I went by his apartment today to say goodbye even though we haven’t talked on a civil level since the miscarriage and everything. I couldn’t look him in the eye and I couldn’t really muster words to express how I feel about it.
He was the only guy on this island that I connected with, had chemistry with, and was so in love with. I was in fact in love with him. He made me laugh and he made me happy, even through all the fighting and what not…we for some reason worked for a while until we got a hit of reality. It’s hard to think that a a year went by so fast, but I’m happy for him now. I’m happy that he’s happy and that’s moving on and going home. I’m happy that I had an experience with him that I haven’t had with anyone else. I’m happy to know that even though we probably will never speak after this…that we were at least able to say goodbye to what we had.
He’ll probably never think of me later in his life and he’ll probably never speak of me, but it doesn’t matter. I have a piece of us in my heart and I wouldn’t trade it for the world because it made me a stronger person. It made me a smarter person. It reminds me everyday of how happy I can be.
I had it again.
