and while you’re out there, I’m here handling everything.
i admit, I’m telling you that I’m not scared and that I have everything under control, but to be honest…I just want to break down every moment that I’m awake and realize that you’re not coming home after work, that you won’t be laying next to me when I fall asleep or wake up.  That you didn’t get to enjoy that moment with me of signing the lease to our new apartment.  That I can’t just pick up the phone and call you to hear your voice.  When I walk, my hand wanders looking for yours to hold on, like when we always walk together and our hands just find each other like magnets.   I’m trying to be strong, so I tell you I am, because i know that’s what you need to hear where you are right now.  But if there’s one thing I fear the most and hate about all of this…


it’s the fear that you will come back with a different heart and realize I was never the one. 

Read More