it was a week before,
i gave you silence, when you spoke your words.
my mind was throwing grenades and land mines,
and my heart exploded.
you reached for my hand, I reached for the door.
I shut you out, and I heard your screams.
i felt your breath as I turned my back to fall asleep.
you moved closer, to pull me in, I stretched out, to keep you from me.

i always battle, before you leave.
the fear that you, will follow past, and cheat.
I always wonder, if the stories, I’ve seen…
are the realities for me.
I want to believe, you’ll always love me…
but you’re a romantic and I’m a realist.
girls are gorgeous and influence can be given in a can or a bottle.

Now you’re gone and I just wish I could rewind the hourglass.
turn it back one more time.
when you called my name, I’d come running back.
You wouldn’t have to reach for my hand, because you’d already have it.
there would be no door, to shut on you.
and I’d wrap my arms around you, as you fell asleep in our bed.

You married a realist…and I’m just trying to believe…
that there’s something real to the truth I feel…

but know that deep down,
beneath all of this mayhem…
that I will always love you…
sleepless in this battle.