We barely speak.
We barely exist.
We barely touch
And I know you don’t want me
"I notice everything. And by everything, I literally mean everything. I notice when someone stops hitting me up like they used to. I notice when the way someone talks to me starts changing. I notice the little things that people do, and the little things they used to do. I notice when things change, and when it’s no longer the same. I notice every single little detail. I just don’t say anything."
I don’t know how to feel.
And more importantly…I don’t know how to heal.
This is far beyond a simple toss of a coin.
This requires things I cannot do
And thoughts I cannot read.
To say I feel stuck would be an under statement.
Everything is numb
But I can hear the small spark inside trying to make it right
Its the darkness thats become me that overpowering in this fight.
I don’t know at this point if we’re able to recover.
If I’m able to recover.
I told you what was wrong and you didn’t seem to think it was a big deal.
You didn’t see any wrong in what you did.
You still don’t.
I feel like you say things to make me believe,
and so maybe to your face, I’m telling you do.
But you’ll never know deep down,
you’ve already left me.
I will always love you
and that’s the kicker for you.
That afterwards, my tears were no longer from the pain you caused me,
but because I saw it in your eyes,
in your silence,
that you were done with the fight.
That you just said it all to appease the argument of the night.
So I hold it all in.
Until the day I can’t take it any longer.
Until the day this baby is born
and I can free myself from this curse.
The outcome is never unknown
because I’ve come so far to pushing the edge before
that I don’t know if I will exist,
but I know forever more, my love for you will always persist.
It’s the love for myself and the strength in me that has diminished.
. auf We Heart It. https://weheartit.com/entry/78618341/via/vivcsooo
I have a tattoo of “save regret for the broken” over my scars on my wrists.
I don’t regret getting it, I regret falling in love, not even with you, but ever. I regret falling in love with anyone because it is far too easy to have never loved and to crave it, then to be in love, crave it, and see it collapse your entire world with lies, insecurities, and promises to never cut again that I so desperately want to take back.